By LaToya Jackson | Lesson in Every Day

http://www.lessonineveryday.com

Right now, I feel sick to my stomach.

Not because of something I ate.

But because of everything I’m carrying.

Anxiety is rising. My nerves are loud.

My heart? It’s somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow,

beating out a rhythm of fear, hope, and the unknown.

I’m on the edge of a life-changing decision.

One that’s got weight.

One that will shift more than just me —

but generations to come, the ones around me,

and the woman I’m becoming.

And even though I know this next chapter is for my good…

even though I know it’s meant for my betterment…

I’m terrified.

Because leaving the last chapter behind hasn’t been easy.

I’ve been holding onto it so tightly.

Clutching the memories, the lessons, the comfort, the identity I shaped there.

Even when my heart had already drifted from it,

I stayed —

because letting go felt too permanent.

But what I’ve come to understand in this quiet storm is this:

I placed myself in a stuck space.

I tried to manage and hold it all together.

I didn’t realize I’d locked myself into something

only God can now get me out of.

And so here I am.

Tears strolling down my cheek in silence.

No audience, no applause —

Just me, God, and a heart learning to be honest.

This is big.

This is scary.

And this is necessary.

Letting go is hard.

Stepping into something new — completely new — is even harder.

But deep down, I believe… it’s worth it.

Because I know what it’s like to move too fast.

To make a decision quickly, thinking it was the best at the time.

Only to feel later — after your heart’s had time to speak —

that it wasn’t the right one.

That it was fear dressed as clarity.

That it was rushed, not rooted.

But now… I’m here.

And I don’t want to beat myself up for that.

Because in this moment — in all its messiness and uncertainty —

I still trust God.

I trust Him to guide me.

To deliver me.

To free me from the weight of holding on too long.

To gently release me into a future I can’t see but am finally willing to believe in.

This faith walk? It’s real.

And it’s not always graceful or easy to explain.

But it’s growing something in me —

a woman who’s not just making decisions,

but learning to discern the right ones.

So today, I’m choosing trust.

I’m choosing to stop shrinking for the sake of what I might lose.

I’m choosing to silence the noise of opinions

and finally prioritize my future.

My next.

My freedom.

If you’re reading this and you feel the same tension —

the same nerves, the same shaking hands as you try to open a new door —

I see you.

And I want to say:

You are not weak for being scared.

You are not behind for having second thoughts.

You are not failing for needing help to move forward.

You are transforming.

And sometimes, transformation feels like fear before it feels like freedom.

So breathe.

Feel the nerves.

Cry if you need to.

And when you’re ready —

Let go.

Be free.

Move forward.

The unexpected may be unknown.

But God is not.

And He’s walking with you…

into all that’s next.